10 Things I Learned From “The Return Of The Living Dead” About Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse
10. Don’t call the Government for help.
9. Don’t barricade yourself in the attic.
8. Hardtops are better than convertibles.
7. Whether a fuckin’ costume or a way of life, a leather jacket and a mohawk do absolutely nothing to prevent a zombie from biting into your head like a candy apple.
6. Don’t smack around old storage drums.
5. Don’t agree to do a favor for someone unless you know EXACTLY what it is first.
4. Sometimes the movies lie.
3. Be VERY careful about answering calls for help, especially if you’re a cop or paramedic.
2. Don’t get naked in cemeteries.
1. Stay the fuck out of the basement. Seriously, there’s nothing good down there.